Nine months of motherhood is definitely mind-boggling. I am still new enough at it where I remember glimmers of life before baby. And I've been at it long enough where I can't imagine life any other way.
The give and take of taking care of your child is just that. Sure, I miss Netflix binges (more than I actually had them!) on a rainy day, but I relish the post-baby-bedtime moments when Jamie and I can get in some television before the heavy lids set in. Last weekend, he even made a pallet on our living room floor just so he and I could truly snuggle while watching a movie. Of course, I fell asleep in about five minutes.
I miss sleeping in, but waking up to Walden's smile is a little heaven on earth way to start the day. I have fallen in love with our family breakfasts in our kitchen - something new to us - with our coffee and ba-bas and an earlier start than the old days.
I miss being able to curl up with a magazine or book on weekend mornings, but I crave the naptime with him on these weekends, where I curl up with him instead and inhale his sweet head. And when he falls asleep during the morning nap, I often crack open that book and read with his sweet, soft-breathing body next to mine.
I miss drinks with friends without all of the air traffic control planning. But now I linger over a glass of wine. Because it's just that - a glass. Gone are those days of too much wine the night before and a day that limps along because of it.
And while we miss the freedom of whenever, wherever, whatever, when we want it, there is a new dynamic that sits well with my soul. We love our dinners out - even when it's all three of us - because when it goes well, we feel we have it all. And God bless the excuse to leave early from just about anything, at anytime.
Nine months along and 37 years of my own life seems to be shrinking in the rearview mirror. All the while, this new love of my life seems to be stepping on the gas and making life fly by out the windows. Like that give and take, my baby boy is teaching me to tap the breaks and buckle my seatbelt.
Life wasn't simpler before he was born. But unbeknownst to me, it was slower than I realized. Real time, family time, our time flies when you're having this much fun.
all photos by our friend Maryann Bates
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